Friday, March 28, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Home
So I went home for the weekend.

I have a relationship with this place that I may never fully understand.

It is where I'm from.

But sometimes I'd rather not feel so connected to a place where I know I'll never live again. On those acres, generation after generation of my family lived their lives but that ends with me.
If I felt no connection, if I felt no love, it would be easier to walk away. But I do love it.

While there, I always feel a strange struggle between decay and life, permanence and impermanence, past and present.

What once was a giant forest became a field of cotton, then milo, then soybeans and then, became a forest again. Only to be wiped away

by the jaws of angry insect creatures of steel.


And all of this living and dying has occurred during my life while I was away thinking all things there remained constant.

But these cycles extend far beyond my life. Trees became lumber, lumber became structures, structures became rot and rot nurtured trees.

And as all these things happen, the human emotions seem to linger like ghosts haunting these places- like the pride someone must have felt when this silo was complete.

I still feel it. I still see it. In the precisely laid horizontals and finely mitered corners, there are emotions. Human emotions.

And now as it decays, as it turns into something unintended, it seems at peace with its surroundings. They all become one.
I have a relationship with this place that I may never fully understand.
It is where I'm from.
But sometimes I'd rather not feel so connected to a place where I know I'll never live again. On those acres, generation after generation of my family lived their lives but that ends with me.
If I felt no connection, if I felt no love, it would be easier to walk away. But I do love it.
While there, I always feel a strange struggle between decay and life, permanence and impermanence, past and present.
What once was a giant forest became a field of cotton, then milo, then soybeans and then, became a forest again. Only to be wiped away
by the jaws of angry insect creatures of steel.
And all of this living and dying has occurred during my life while I was away thinking all things there remained constant.
But these cycles extend far beyond my life. Trees became lumber, lumber became structures, structures became rot and rot nurtured trees.
And as all these things happen, the human emotions seem to linger like ghosts haunting these places- like the pride someone must have felt when this silo was complete.
I still feel it. I still see it. In the precisely laid horizontals and finely mitered corners, there are emotions. Human emotions.
And now as it decays, as it turns into something unintended, it seems at peace with its surroundings. They all become one.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Song for a Happy Friday
LCD Soundsystem
"North American Scum"
Since I'll be flying over said continent tomorrow, I'm posting early.
And for those of you
Who still think we're from England
We're not.
No.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
Songs for a Happy Friday
Imitosis- Andrew Bird
It's a good thing I didn't buy this on vinyl because I would have worn a hole through it by now.
And oddly, someone has set one of my favorite Andrew Bird songs, Tables and Chairs, to a tour of a video game called Shadowrun.
Edited to correct mistakes of all kinds.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Letters
Dear Dallas Drivers,
I know the signs along the tollway that read "Yield to Ramp" are confusing. Many of you seem to think these mean that you should yield to the ramp itself. It's a logical conclusion. And, if any ramp should decide to get up and move around, I would recommend yielding. However, the sign actually means yield to the traffic coming off the ramp. I hope that youstupid morons fellow citizens will try this next time.
Thank you.
Dear Co-Workers,
I know you love your jobs dearly and wake up in the morning yearning to get back to your desk. When the time spent driving to the office is viewed as simply time that could be spent in meetings or answering emails, it is hard not to want to get back to your cubicle asap. But, there are 5000 of us who work in the same building. Given the American propensity to car pool, that means that 5200 cars are entering our parking deck at about the same time each morning. When you speed through the stop signs in the deck you are endangering me and could possibly keep me from getting to my desk. And that would be unbearable for me. So, would you please, SLOW YOUR ASS DOWN.
Best regards.
Dear Lady Driving the Silver Chevy Citation at the Dry Cleaners on Lomo Alto today,
I'm not sure why you cut through that parking lot today. I'm not sure why you almost rammed into my parked car while doing so. I'm not sure why you sat at the parking lot exit when there was no traffic keeping you from leaving. I'm certainly not sure why you suddenly decided to put your car in reverse and slam into my front bumper as I waited behind you. I'm not sure why you did any of those things. However, I would like to point out to you that when one rams into someone else's car, they generally should make sure they did no damage and seek to find the owner. When you simply drove away, I felt rejected. As I followed you down Lemmon Ave. and discovered that the final destination of your desperate, erratic journey was the McDonald's drive-thru, I got a clue as to why you did all of those things above. YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT. And I have your license plate number.
Much Love,
Homo Ono
I know the signs along the tollway that read "Yield to Ramp" are confusing. Many of you seem to think these mean that you should yield to the ramp itself. It's a logical conclusion. And, if any ramp should decide to get up and move around, I would recommend yielding. However, the sign actually means yield to the traffic coming off the ramp. I hope that you
Thank you.
Dear Co-Workers,
I know you love your jobs dearly and wake up in the morning yearning to get back to your desk. When the time spent driving to the office is viewed as simply time that could be spent in meetings or answering emails, it is hard not to want to get back to your cubicle asap. But, there are 5000 of us who work in the same building. Given the American propensity to car pool, that means that 5200 cars are entering our parking deck at about the same time each morning. When you speed through the stop signs in the deck you are endangering me and could possibly keep me from getting to my desk. And that would be unbearable for me. So, would you please, SLOW YOUR ASS DOWN.
Best regards.
Dear Lady Driving the Silver Chevy Citation at the Dry Cleaners on Lomo Alto today,
I'm not sure why you cut through that parking lot today. I'm not sure why you almost rammed into my parked car while doing so. I'm not sure why you sat at the parking lot exit when there was no traffic keeping you from leaving. I'm certainly not sure why you suddenly decided to put your car in reverse and slam into my front bumper as I waited behind you. I'm not sure why you did any of those things. However, I would like to point out to you that when one rams into someone else's car, they generally should make sure they did no damage and seek to find the owner. When you simply drove away, I felt rejected. As I followed you down Lemmon Ave. and discovered that the final destination of your desperate, erratic journey was the McDonald's drive-thru, I got a clue as to why you did all of those things above. YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT. And I have your license plate number.
Much Love,
Homo Ono
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Audio Slideshow: Campus reacts to Carson's death - University
Audio Slideshow: Campus reacts to Carson's death - University
It is still so hard to believe this happened at my alma mater, that idyllic place, memories of which come to mind every single day.
It is still so hard to believe this happened at my alma mater, that idyllic place, memories of which come to mind every single day.
Friday, March 07, 2008
Song for a Happy Friday
Most people who know me know of my obsessive love for The Hidden Cameras. I just wish I had more chances to see them play live. When I saw them in Atlanta last year, I spent the entire night pressed to the stage bouncing with a giant grin on my face. But Joel Gibb, the absolute genius who heads the band, lives in Berlin now so their US tours are far too rare.
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Oh god
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Options
18 Months Ago: The company I worked for announced they were closing the NY office.
17 Months Ago: All executives in the NY office were offered a move to the new office or a generous severance package. I chose the latter.
16 Months Ago: I negotiated a better severance package by agreeing to help set up the new office on a temporary basis.
14 Months Ago: I stopped working.
14 Months Ago: I began to enjoy 12 months of essentially full pay and benefits w/o working.
1 Month Ago: I started my new job.
1 Week Ago: The old company declared bankruptcy. Everyone will be let go. No one is getting any severance this time.
How do I feel?
Option #1: Lucky
Option #2: Grateful
Option #2: Guilty
Guess which option I have chosen.
I've chosen option #2.
17 Months Ago: All executives in the NY office were offered a move to the new office or a generous severance package. I chose the latter.
16 Months Ago: I negotiated a better severance package by agreeing to help set up the new office on a temporary basis.
14 Months Ago: I stopped working.
14 Months Ago: I began to enjoy 12 months of essentially full pay and benefits w/o working.
1 Month Ago: I started my new job.
1 Week Ago: The old company declared bankruptcy. Everyone will be let go. No one is getting any severance this time.
How do I feel?
Option #1: Lucky
Option #2: Grateful
Option #2: Guilty
I've chosen option #2.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Song for a Happy Friday
This morning, as I drive up the Tollway on my way to toil away the day, I'll be listening to this, loudly...
Wave to me!
Wave to me!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Via
Via The Other Andrew via Apartment Therapy I happened to kris's color stripes a blog of color analysis that is absolutely fantastic. That's a lot more vias than I'm used to but this blog is right down my alley.
Bravo Kris! I love it!
Kris is taking photographs and breaking them down into color samples and the resulting combos are fantastic. Here are some examples of what is posted there:








The combinations with grey at the beginning are exactly what I have been in meetings discussing for the last two weeks.
See it all here.
Bravo Kris! I love it!
Kris is taking photographs and breaking them down into color samples and the resulting combos are fantastic. Here are some examples of what is posted there:








The combinations with grey at the beginning are exactly what I have been in meetings discussing for the last two weeks.
See it all here.
Favorites
My favorite thing about living in Dallas-
The Grackles
Quiscalus mexicanus
My new favorite toy-

Which is capable, btw, of much better video than the one above. I posted that just for the sound. My favorite thing about the Grackles- their loud obnoxiousness. They make themselves impossible to ignore. I like that in a bird.
The Grackles

Quiscalus mexicanus
My new favorite toy-

Which is capable, btw, of much better video than the one above. I posted that just for the sound. My favorite thing about the Grackles- their loud obnoxiousness. They make themselves impossible to ignore. I like that in a bird.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Update
After the 3 1/2 hour meeting this afternoon, which was filled with much debate, we are now united in saying:
Grey is the new brown.
You heard it here first.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
My Agenda for February 20
8:30-12:30: "Cycle Time Reduction Training"- A 4 hour meeting on how to be more efficient with my time.
12:30-1:30: Lunch
1:30-5:00: "Plotting Expectations for the Color Marketing and Trend Meeting"- A 3 1/2 hour meeting to discuss our expectations for another meeting- which runs from 9-5 on Thursday.
NO LIE.
This is my actual calendar.
To quote a dear friend, "They seem to have confused activity with action."
12:30-1:30: Lunch
1:30-5:00: "Plotting Expectations for the Color Marketing and Trend Meeting"- A 3 1/2 hour meeting to discuss our expectations for another meeting- which runs from 9-5 on Thursday.
NO LIE.
This is my actual calendar.
To quote a dear friend, "They seem to have confused activity with action."
While gardening...
...I'll be wearing my fashionable Bug Stopper top and bottom.

To quote the catalog- "Keep pesky bugs from biting while you enjoy your gardening with this easy-on bug netting that protects your arms, face and body."
(BTW, no, I'm not a transsexual nor do I have an extra forearm and hand dangling from my elbow. This is just what happens when a catalog depicts men as bottoms and women as tops. Quite simply put, it's not God's way.)
To quote the catalog- "Keep pesky bugs from biting while you enjoy your gardening with this easy-on bug netting that protects your arms, face and body."
(BTW, no, I'm not a transsexual nor do I have an extra forearm and hand dangling from my elbow. This is just what happens when a catalog depicts men as bottoms and women as tops. Quite simply put, it's not God's way.)
Spring Planting
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Boxed

That's where I've been for the last few days.
Inside a box of ever decreasing dimensions. Sealed tightly.
The new job has returned me to old habits of self doubt and loathing. Yet one therapy session today (the first in months) has returned a bit of more rational thought.
Therapist recommended anti-anxiety medication for the first time today. This makes me very anxious. No one has ever suggested medication before.
Have I gotten worse?
She proposed it as a way for me to experience the difference. She wondered if I truly felt what being relatively anxiety free felt like then I would more readily recognize stress and then be more apt to deal with it-- rather than wallow in it. She recommended it as a temporary experiment of sorts. I guess I have a tendency to not recognize the twisted mess I put myself in on a daily basis.
If any of my 6 blog readers have any experience with this I would love to hear about it. What has worked for you?
Saturday, February 09, 2008
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