Products of Convenience

I'm not one for toilet humor but...

...thank GOD someone finally came up with this! Using two hands to change the roll is simply unbearable.

And another miracle of product design...
Here is the text supporting this product:

"Self-adhesive handle installs in seconds to any toilet, allowing you to lift or lower the seat without touching it. Easy to use and easy to keep clean, it helps protect hands from toilet seat germs."

Excuse me? Is it easier to use and keep clean than that toilet seat itself? Does the beautiful scalloped edge keep germs at bay? And who Photoshopped that blue water onto the picture? Sorry, but they should be fired. It's not even remotely the right shape.

Apparently, this particular company thinks their customer base includes complete germaphobes as well as germ lovers. How else could you explain this:

Close up please.
That's right. For all you folks who are worried about germs being able to cling to the slick surface of your toilet seat, this new acrylic/poly knit cover will give them the extra traction they need. For those who can't find this item for sale in your area, you might consider just winding yarn around your toilet seat.




In other news,
I thought Jesus was a carpenter? Or maybe they're suggesting we crucify the police and firemen? Not sure.